Aku mimpi, tapi tak pernah ingat. Aku rasa lebih baik begitu. Kau pernah tengok cerita The Grey? Aku kesian gila dengan Liam Neelson (Ottway), sebab kehidupan dia reverse dari konsep mimpi.
Hidup dalam dunia yang nyata, tapi masih di bayang kisah mimpi dan pengalaman silam kehilangan orang yang paling dia sayang.
Ni surat bunuh diri dia:
"There's not a second that goes by when I'm not thinking of you in some way. I want to see your face. Feel your hands in mine. Feel you against me. But I know that will never be. You left me, and I can't get you back... I move like I imagine the damned do, cursed. I feel like it's only a matter of time... I don't know why I'm writing this, I don't know what can come of it. I know I can't get you back. I don't know why this has happened to us. I feel like it's me. Bad luck. Poison. I've stopped doing this world any real good."
......tapi dia masih tak mati pada malam dia letak senapang dalam mulut.
Naik kapal terbang dan terhempas, tapi masih belum mati. Malah masih mampu lead group survival dari di makan serigala. Seorang, seorang kawan dia mati.
Sampai satu part, aku rasa dia hampir pasrah, tapi di saat dia bertarung dengan serigala alpha, dia sempat bercakap dengan Tuhan.
"Do something. Do something. You phony prick fraudulent motherfucker. Do something! Come on! Prove it! Fuck faith! Earn it! Show me something real! I need it now. Not later. Now! Show me and I'll believe in you until the day I die. I swear. I'm calling on you. I'm calling on you! Fuck it. I'll do it myself."
Lebih baik aku mimpi tanpa ingat, dan hidup di alam realiti tanpa igauan mimpi
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